Dear Tea Partiers: Quality Counts!

After watching the Republican Party lose  races it should have won easily, I think it's high time some of us 'real' conservatives spoke up.  Here are a few pointers for future races:

1. A flake that believes the same things you do, is still a flake.  Don't encourage them.
2. Own your failures.  It is natural for us to look for outside reasons on why our children make lousy choices or become something we don't want.  Chances are it wasn't the result of something the government did or controlled.  It was probably the result of one of two things: either they had bad parents or are just stupid.
3. I'm tired of staring at the screen trying to mentally coach Sarah Palin on the answers to basic economic and foreign policy questions.  Find someone smarter.
4. You want limited government?  Great!  Start in your own home, your local school board, your city council, or your state legislature.  Some of the most 'conservative' people I have known have gotten onto the local school board and wanted to micro-manage every teacher's classroom.  You're constantly saying that you want the government to get out of the way and let you run your life; well the same should be true of the teacher in his/her classroom.  We can't demand accountability without granting authority.  

I don't want to pick on Tea Party members; some of my best friends are TPs.  I just want to remind you that many of us do not want conservatives dictating our personal lives any more than we wanted the liberals doing it.  Remember that a slave cares not who his master is, he only cares who provides the best porridge.

Scoutmaster

I stole the camp journal of my son's scout leader(John).  I thought it would provide insight into the mind of an obvious lunatic.  Who else but a crazy would volunteer to spend the week camping with a bunch of depraved 12 and 13 yr olds hopped up on 'ding dongs' and 'ho-hos'.  

day 1:
"Everything in great!  We are setting up camp and preparing for a week of living and learning in the wonderful wooded landscape of Island Park.... One small set-back; my 'back-up' leader discovered he had forgotten to pack any of his prescription 'liquid courage'.  The boys had to waste their first session of free time consoling him and convincing him not to go home.  I have decided to refer to him as 'Second-fiddle' from now on."  We went down to the lake to pass our swim test so that we could enjoy the water-front activities during the week; the boys did great.  They jumped into the 33 degree water and swam like the champions they are.  Second-fiddle fell in and did the dead man float across and back."

day 2:
"Hygiene is obviously going to be a problem;  I will nip this in the bud and make Second-fiddle the camp hygiene enforcement officer.  Some of the boys have already spent their craft money on overpriced pop and twinkies at the camp trading post (motto:  taking advantage of scouts since 1953).  Uh mm ... I just got downwind of Second-fiddle and now question his ability to be very effective as hygiene officer.  I will have to add this to my list of responsibilities, and continue the search for some way, aside from guarding the food box, in which Second-fiddle can contribute.  I am seeing some small erosion of my authority, but I'm sure it's nothing serious."

day 3:
"The whining is going to drive me nuts.  You would think Second-fiddle had never done dishes.  He tried to make dutch-oven cobbler last night, but only succeeded in serving up a lovely concoction of burnt cake mix and cherry pie filling.  I suspect that his camping credentials have been severely overstated.  The scouts could find the trading post in a blizzard, but lack the necessary motivation to locate a shower.  Boys are getting mouthy; I may be forced to kill one as an example."

day 4:
"My hands shake all the time now.  I find myself constantly wanting to choke the scouts.  Maybe a good long walk would help....  Nope, it didn't help.  I came across Second-fiddle napping under a tree during a time he should have been helping some of the boys earn merit badges.  The boys said he had been doing that all week.  Good news; I don't want to choke the scouts anymore."

day 5:
"I wanna go home." 

Good scout leaders are part therapist and part drill sergeant with just a touch of psychosis.  They are rare.  Thank you John.

Strange Bedfellows

I asked Two-son to go upstairs and wake up his older brother, One-son.  As is his custom with these menial tasks, Two-son decided there were three ways to complete the task:  the right way, the rude way, and the evil way.  He chose evil, (we're working on it, but 'evil' seems to be his default setting).  Before all the hollering and poking of Three-son could wake him, Two-son crawled in bed next to his loving older brother.  As One-son gained consciousness, he found himself looking into the eyes of his archnemisis.  "I slept with you all night.", Two-son sweetly told the alarmed sibling.  One-son lost it; "Get out! Get out now!".  He didn't say exactly how he felt about it, but we did catch him looking online for do-it-yourself fumigants.

I kind of wonder if the Republican Party will not feel the same way after this election cycle.  In an effort to 'ride the wave', they have crawled into bed with the Tea Party movement, and unfortunately have discovered some strange bedfellows.  In amongst some good, honest people are a gaggle of loons who have spent the better part of their lives looking for some place to put a voice to their lunacy.  The democrats found this with the Code-Pinkers and Move-On.org.  In the clear light of day, reasonable democrats felt as if their party had been taken over by wild-eyed zealots (motto: nationalizing private enterprise in a neighborhood near you).

If the republicans want to add longevity to their current momentum, they will co-opt the good ideas in the tea party movement and distance themselves from dumb ones.  It would profit them to remember the saying, "Stupid is stupid, no matter the source.".  

Why Worry About Mexico; the Irish Got in Through Canada

One hundred and sixty years ago, this country was being invaded by immigrants from a place where land ownership was uncommon and most production was consumed by punitive rents and the need to feed one's own family.  It was terrible, not only were they consumed with scurvy, they were catholic.  The blue-blooded protestants ranted and raved about how this changing demographic would destroy the country their ancestors had fought so hard to build.

As the British realized they could not handle the problem, they filled ships with as many Irish as could be squeezed below decks;  not really a problem, because by the voyage's halfway point enough would have died to allow the remaining passengers plenty of elbow room.  Once they arrived in US waters, they weren't allowed to disembark until they had fulfilled a month-long quarantine.  The bright side of this was that yellow fever would generally kill any who survived the trip.  Many ships were sent north to Canada where the provincial government had a designated Irish island to prevent them from infecting the population.  A person reading the opinion pages at the time would quickly have determined that the Irish would eat American children right after they molested them.  It was not a period where accuracy was a valued asset. 

In the thirty years following, these new citizens helped build the transcontinental railroad, fought the indians, and in large numbers were conscripted for the North in the War Between the States.  This American story is important for us to remember as we consider our part in the history being made now.

In attempting to solve the current immigration mess, we must first realize that it is three separate issues:  border crossing in pursuit of work, drug trafficking and the resultant cross-border violence, and the political issues in Mexico and the US which have prevented a rational discussion.

Solutions:

1. Triple the size of the H-2a program.  We are at a competiitve disadvantage to China, India, and any other country with an abundunt and inexpensive labor pool.
2. Then build the darn fence.  If we are letting enough in legally to satisfy our labor needs, we can shut off the cross-desert fun-run.
3. Don't ask our cops to exercise judgement on someone's legal status; let them run the license at traffic stops and if it's bogus, they can do the same thing they always do when a license is bogus.
4. Explain to Mexico that border-town bordellos and tequilla sales do not an economy make.  They must get serious about economic opportunity and reform, or the Uncle Sam foreign aid gravy-train will derail.
5. Effect a one-strike-your-out policy for felons.  Mexico would serve as a great penal colony for their citizens who come north and commit crimes.
6. Tie all social services to legal status; this would ease some of the costs border counties are bearing.  This is not a human rights issue;  no other country awards a social safety net to those overstaying their visa. 

This issue is complicated, but some common-sense actions would do wonders to quell the uprise in moronisity we are currently experiencing.  Let's welcome those who wish to work and contribute to society, and patently reject any who cannot follow our rules.

What Obama Could Learn From Bad Parents

A neighbor recently gave my two oldest an old Kawasaki Mule.  This utv has some problems, and they were told that it was theirs for the cost of fixing it.  They are thrilled.  Minus a few indian burns and cheap kidney punches, the two pugilists have worked nonstop on what they see as their ticket to freedom from an oppressive home environment.  Unfortunately, things went south on the latest test ride; it died on them in the middle of the horse pasture.  They did what the male of our species always does when faced with unexpected mechanical issues; they lifted the 'hood' and stared at the offending motor with absolutely no clue what to do.  After some intense staring and banging on various parts with an end-wrench failed to revive it, a determination was made to tow it home. 

Mr and Mrs Goodwrench, as I like to call them, came barging into the house demanding that I fulfill my role as father-figure and help them tow the offending vehicle home and fix it.  Sadly, they had come during my sacrosanct afternoon 'rest' period and there was nothing I could do.  Disappointed, they walked outside and did what any good delinquents would;  they 'borrowed' my 4-wheeler and did it themselves.  Some time later, they roared back into the driveway with the 7 yr old driving the tow vehicle and the 13 yr old screaming unheeded instructions from behind the wheel of the dead mule.  If I had gotten up off the couch to see it, I would have been proud.   My inherent laziness had given them an opportunity to develop problem-solving skills and the pride and confidence that comes from overcoming their own challenges.

Watching this got me thinking;  maybe Obama shouldn't try to be such a helpful parent....

President Obama and his band of merry men/women need to allow people to solve some of their own problems.  Government should provide those things that individuals cannot procure themselves: i.e. roads, property rights, military, etc.  Remember, a world without risk is a world without reward.   

'Burn Cop' Coming to a Neighborhood Near You.

This is a call to action!  All who read this post are now deputized into the 'Report Your Local Representative' action committee.  Watch your state representative or senator like a hawk; it is likely they are ignoring the very laws and regulations they expect us to live under.  "What is so terrible?", you ask.  I'll tell you.  In an effort to save North Idaho asthmatics, our ever wise elected officials have made it virtually impossible to get a burn permit to clean up a stubble field here in Southern Idaho (motto:  smoke is a welcome change from our normal airborne aroma).

To get a burn permit now, you must take a field burning safety course, file an application at least 30 days before you want to burn, and wait for the phone call by 11 am on the day you want to burn.  What a bunch of morons!!!  Field burning works best when the weather conditions cooperate to make it safe and manageable; these favorable conditions are impossible to tell 3 days in advance let alone 30. 

The best part:  fines start at 1800 to 2400 dollars, (with no warning) 

The solution:  we must blow the whistle on any state official (elected or otherwise) or their relatives who burn without a permit.  After the first couple of these geniuses pays a fine, maybe they'll think before they take a regionally necessary regulation and apply to the state as a whole. 

I was going to try and be funny, but I am too angry.  I'm dead serious about turning these folks in.  Maybe I will get a new personalized license plate: 'burncop'.  Maybe there'll be some sort of whistleblower payoff too.  Oh, sorry, I let my imagination run wild.  Happy hunting.

The ESA; Killing a Species Near You

A note to all junior high and high school science teachers; 'question everything'. For the last couple of decades, these humble destroyers of clear thinking have been telling our children that the Endangered Species Act saves the lives of those poor little flora and fauna standing on the brink. Recent research and honest studies have shown that the act has just the opposite effect; a result of perverse incentives which punish scientists and wildlife professionals for sucess.

Let me explain. How do the scientists and wildlifers fund their research and pet programs? Grants and more grants. When a species is sucessfully recovered and delisted, grants and program budgets are effectively cut in half; and yet, these same individuals would expect us to believe they are not slaves to the normal self-preservative motives we 'lay' folk are subject to. Why do you think those in this particular community fought wolf de-listing so hard?. A species recovered enough for delisting can be managed by the full-time personel of our state fish and game and no longer requires the throng of academics and free-lancers to count every bowel movement.

There is a simple solution for specieal recovery that doesn't threaten bankruptcy or jail time for any land owner unlucky enough to find an endangered whatnot on his property. This solution quite simply provides an economic reward for any landowner or operator who finds these species and then improves their respective numbers. I know we should do it out of the inherent goodness of our heart, but warm, fuzzy feelings do not feed the children. Imagine how quickly sage grouse would recover if ranchers received a $100 for every one counted during the annual census. In a very short time, the numbers would grow to the point that you would only pay for sage grouse counted from the road. You would, of course, have to restrict ranchers to their home on the night before the count. This would prevent any of the inevitable grouse-rustling as land-owners attempt to boost their numbers.

The ESA has been an abject failure at all endeavours outside of funding university wildlife departments. We owe the wildlife an apology for allowing pot-smoking, clipboard-toting grad students to stalk them for the last three and a half decades.

The afore-mentioned solution would work for any species of plant or animal. Landowners would be scouting their property on hands and knees looking for nests or breeding sites to protect. It is hard for congress to grasp such difficult concepts, especially since sucessfully recovered species do not motive misled urbanites to fund campaigns.

How Farmers Could Win the Drug War

Marijuana is too expensive. An acre of mellow sublimity could run you $300,000 wholesale; a reflection of inadequate production and transport difficulties. If the government was serious about reducing the profit incentive for criminal agrarians, they would do two things: 1) legalize pot production, sale, and consumption; 2) hand oversight of all marijuana production programs to the the Dept. of Agriculture.

Here's how it would play out. It would take a couple of years to ramp up production, so the farmers who get in on it early would realize terrific profits; but we soon would develop new equipment making large-scale production possible. The next thing we know, we're seeing semi-loads of 1 ton dope bales being hauled from farm to market. Within 5 years, wholesale prices would drop below the cost of production (app. $200/ton), and the next farm bill would include price floors and a govn't buyout provision for surplus production. This surplus could then be included in our foreign aid packages thereby solving our popularity problems in the third-world.

It's sad that we won't look at ways to effectively use government ineptitude for good.

Hurrah for Obama! He Finally Did Something I Can Cheer About

I've always distrusted those who 'fake-bake'. Idaho has 275 days a year of sunshine; put down the tofu crackers and walk outside. A commonly offered excuse is ,"I don't want to have a tanline from my swimsuit.". A little advice; if you're walking around in the daylight, buck-necked, a tanline is the least of your worries.

President Obama has recognized the threat these people pose to a healthy society and taken the steps necessary to protect us all. In the new health reform legislation, there is a new tax on tanning sessions (10%). Finally, fake-bakers will be paying their fair share; and we questioned how they could afford a ride for everyone on the Obama health-care train.

I wonder how long it will be before they label your favorite indulgence 'high-risk' and tax it to cover the costs associated with passing 'reform' legislation without codified cost controls. There is no free lunch and we must soon resign ourselves to significantly higher taxes and/or reductions in the quality and quantity of our health care.

Have You Hugged a Smoker Today?

"Imagine a smoke-free America." We are asked to do such by the pompous anti-smoking bunch; well, I'll describe a smoke-free America from an economic viewpoint. Bankrupt! Both state and federal governments would be broke and scrambling for new revenue streams, and in all likelihood, we would find their hand in our pocket. "No way!" you say, "but what about all the ads describing the costs of allowing smokers to exist?". They are wrong. There are two big reasons why we need to hug smokers and thank them for keeping our governments solvent:

1) They die early. Smokers go to their mansion in the sky an average of 10 years earlier than non-smokers. That is 10 years less of Social Security payments and medicare coverage. If your tired of ballooning budgets and out of control entitlement programs, kick someone over 80.

2) They pay alot of taxes. In fiscal year 2009 they payed 28.6 billion to the state and federal governments. This does not include the savings provided by the generosity of their early departures.

It is estimated that we save 800 billion annually in unpaid SS and medicare benefits. This will more than cover the inflated estimates of what smokers cost our society. Add that to the hard cash they 'cough' up every year, and it becomes very tempting for the government to encourage new smokers.

This is a model that could be used to balance the current federal deficit: find an addictive, self-destructive behavior and tax it viciously.

Today, when you pass by a smoker, don't click your tongue and act offended. Instead, you should go up to them, thank them for their service, and if they don't seem too unstable, hug them.

Run Lemmings Run

Rugged individualists; yeah right! Farmers are like a flock of sheep. We dress the same, talk the same, drive the same pickups and tractors, and all-in-all act like a bunch of disfunctional gang-bangers.

The sirens on the rocks are calling out to Southern Idaho agrarians: "beans, grow beans, there's money in them there beans.....". And like the faithful greek sailors we are, we are turning our ship and heading toward the sweet seranade.

Turn around! We will do what we always do to profitable markets; destroy them. We like to clutch them in our oversized, simple hands and say; 'pretty beans, wonderful beans...', and then we look down and we've squoze it to death. If you doubt my stunning logic, just take a gander at your neighborhood spud farmer. Potato grower meetings make funerals look like fun-filled, laugh fests. Two years ago, the potato market was enjoying it's best profit margins in ages. So what did we do, we planted too many acres and combined that with record yields to devastate prices.

Let's all take hands and go to our nearest support group/learning center/diner and resolve to develop rotations, stick to them, and become market makers not market chasers.

Health Care for Dummies

In a letter to his wife, the great Lafayette instructed her on the proper way to address critics of the American revolutionary cause: "You will reply politely, 'You are all absolute idiots...' " His pithy advice is amazingly applicable to both sides of the health care debate. I will now propose the only common-sense solution to what has become an assinine process.

First, we must stipulate a few basic assumptions:

1) We in this country will provide a basic level of care to everyone. If we don't do it through a health insurance program, we will do it through unnecessary emergency room visits paid by county indigent funds.

2) We already have a public health care option. It is called medicaid. If you would like to contact me and debate this point, I only ask that you refrain from sniffing glue for the 24 hrs preceding your call.

3) Wealthier people have better stuff than the monetarily-challenged. I can't afford a Ferrari and yet I am still able to fulfill my basic transportation needs. It's ok; I hope to someday become a rich moron who can afford completely unnecessary vehicles. Let's agree to remove our juvenile economic jealousy from this debate.

With these points in mind, I will now lay out the solution.

Expand medicaid! Duh! We already have a bureaucracy in place, it just requires 3 things:

1) Allow people to buy into the coverage based on their taxable income per their 1040.
(i.e. $30,000-40,000 $200/mo/family; $40,001-50,000 $300/mo/family)

2) Establish some reasonable co-pays for office and emergency room visits as a way to curb unnecessary usage of health-care resources. This will also help alleviate our doctor shortage.

3) The federal government's role will be to fund the difference between established premiums and the true cost of coverage.

Pre-existing conditions will be accepted at 25% above basic premium levels. I hate to break it to you, but life is not fair, and you cost more to keep alive. If you show up at the emergency room and have not signed up for coverage, you will be automatically enrolled and assessed a premium based on your previous years tax return. This will ensure coverage for everyone.

Leave private health insurance companies alone. They do offer better coverage and benefits than medicaid, but at a higher cost. Anyone choosing to pay the higher premium should be able to.

See, that wasn't so difficult. Now, if only President 'Economic Genius' and his Merry Band of Idiots would quit trying to bankrupt us, they could sort out the details of what can be a very simple solution to a migraine-inducing problem.

State Retirees and Bloated Hogs: amazing similarities

The Idaho budget-boat is riding low. While we are not yet taking on water, any movement not carefully choreographed is likely to result in a dangerous dip below the surface. At times like this, everyone needs to work together and share equally in the act of keeping the boat balanced.

Unfortunately, the state retirees consider themselves exempt. Their recent tantrum on the steps of the statehouse further solidified their reputation as entitled infants. In a period of economic uncertainty, they have a guaranteed pension which happens to be one of the last solvent state-run pension programs in the country. You would think they would be writing thank-you letters to our elected representatives especially considering the tragic decline many private retirement accounts have suffered in the last two years.

No. These bloated piglets are more than content to continue suckling at the lean teat of government while other more worthy groups are left to fight for scraps.

Apparently these noble retired educators, county commissioners, and an odd assortment of diligently ineffectual bureaucrats think it blasphemous they should be expected to give up their sacred 1% cost-of-living increase. This, at a time, when active teachers and other state employees are being presented with actual cuts in pay and/or job losses.

If the Senate can tell the parents of special-needs children that State support has to be cut during these tough budgetary times, it must gain the resolve to face down these entitlement junkies and tell them it will not be covering the obviously devastating price increases for their Viagra and Flowmax prescriptions.

Toast and Water vs French Hen and Italian Wine

The health care summit this last week chaired by President Obama, offered few new insights into the problems we collectively face as a nation. Let's start with what should be obvious, doing nothing or signing the current legislation into law are both options even the mentally impaired won't consider.

Why do we have a health care problem? Let's envision America collectively eating at a restaurant. Some of us order lavish meals with a cigar to finish things off, others get by on toast with water. So long as each of us is paying for what we eat when the bill comes how much can we really complain? The problem is in this restaurant where you sit determines who picks up the check. Of course no one will stand by and let another diner go hungry, that's not the American way, we are better than that. Over time though those who continue to order toast with water and still get stuck with the tab for the French Hen and Italian wine will find the experience less rewarding.

Unfortunately as those who object to consistently having to pay for others dinning enjoyment frequent the establishment less, the restaurant has to implement new policies to break even. The new policy has a flat rate pricing structure, everything from toast and water to the five course meal costs the same. Surprisingly enough even fewer toast and water dinners frequent the restaurant, after all they only want toast and water but not at five course meal prices. The restaurant losing money due to the lack of toast and water customers is once again forced to raise prices. At this point even those dinners who pay for and enjoy the five course meals are no longer able to afford the excellent service. The restaurant at this point has the benefit of being able to ask Congress to force all Americans to eat only at this restaurant. The new plan which covers all will provide toast with water at five course meal prices.

In the next several posts we will explore some of the options available. At 17% of our economy this is not an issue we can afford to get wrong, or procrastinate indefinitely on. For those who hope to see President Obama fail on this issue, I would suggest extended training with the Taliban, you will be surrounded by others with similar goals. For those who specifically endorse the current legislation, I would suggest time travel to the Ukraine in the 1930's as collectivism was imposed upon the misinformed peasants, you will find yourself celebrating the breaking of a few eggs to make an omelet.

Blind Spot

In driver's ed, we all learned to check our blind spot periodically to prevent the inevitable consequences of entering space already occupied. On the basketball court, it was the guy we didn't see coming who stole the ball from us.

Agricultural blind spots vary by crop, livestock group, and the different practices employed in our operations. For example, the Humane Society video of downer cows caught the beef and dairy industries by surprise and led them to accept previously inconceivable regulation. When we fail to check our blind spot, we are forced to negotiate from inherently weak positions.

Currently, Idaho is attempting to change lanes without checking its blind spot. The blind spot in question regards the draconion cuts being made to our agricultural extension and research programs. We are reducing staff, closing facilities and abandoning future advances in seed genetics, pest control, storage, and marketing.

There is short-term ignorance being displayed by both legislators and university administration. The University of Idaho is in danger of ignoring its key advantage over the other state universities: research (primarily agricultural). If we continue to cut the quality and breadth of our ag research, we will lose qualified staff who will defect to institutions where they are able to research and publish findings on relevant questions. Not a lot of quality ag research can be done in an office on a computer.

The people who make up the University of Idaho community have given their life's work to establish its reputation as a first-class research and teaching intstitution. Ten years from now, if we continue on this path of attrition, we will look back and realize that decisions made in crisis have had a devastating effect on the UofI's ability to fulfill even basic expectations.

The solutions available to us are not cheap or popular; they are necessary.
1) Eliminate competition among state universities for the same programs. Boise State should not be allowed to operate a law school, and UofI should not offer an MBA. ISU should be allowed to focus on Health Sciences without competition from BSU or UofI.
2) In an effort to recruit more profitable out-of-state students, Idaho has tried to become an everyman's university. This has proven to be short-sighted. We don't ask our hooker to prepare our tax statement, and I for sure don't look to my accountant for sinful pleasures. Eliminate marginal programs and refocus our efforts on achieving excellence in areas for which we have had a traditional advantage.

If the legislature would check its higher education blind-spot, they would be horrified to see a time when the word 'adequate' is too lofty a descriptor barreling down upon them.

Breeders, they're everyone's problem

Health and Welfare has a different name for them: suppliers. These are the wonderful people who ensure that families on adoption waiting lists don't wait long. Unfortunately, there are significant social costs associated with allowing the dumbest among us to continue their procreation merry-go-round.

There are two possible solutions:
1) forced sterilization. The ethical quagmire created here just gives me a headache.
2) Economic penalties. If we completely change the tax and welfare benefit structure to encourage responsible behavior, it's quite possible we may see a reduction of children born into abject poverty and dangerous home situations.

The mistake we have made, is that our public assistance increases with the number of dependents in the home. Although it is a noble idea, even the simplest among us can see how continuing to have more children than we can afford has a narcotic effect on public assistance addicts.

You should declare your children when you sign up, and then if you have children while in the program, you will lose benefits equivalent to one dependent. If you are a slow learner, you stand to lose all your benefits.

This should not affect those who find themself in a bad way, and need a hand to get back on their feet. They will understand that they need to postpone increasing their family size until that point where they can afford the associated costs.

Again we have returned to the central thesis: stupid choices have consequences and we do not help anyone by protecting them from such.

The Industrial Education Association vs Real Reform

How is it we are free to chose such little things as what our cats name will be or what color our new car will be, but we don't find it the least bit strange we have almost no choice when it comes to something that really should matter? This does assume you consider the education of children to be of some significance. Education has come to occupy the same hallowed ground as motherhood, puppies, and apple pie. A closer look at where the education dollars really go exposes a business where a child's education is second to protecting the interests of the Education Industry.

What would it take to get beyond lip service and achieve real education reform? How about a combination of true local control coupled with free market capitalism? Here's what Real Education Reform would look like.

• State of Idaho completely takes over the financing of education. "X" number of dollars are allocated per school age child, dollar amount is the same regardless of whether it's Bear Lake or Sandpoint. Allow more dollars for special needs children.
• Parents of school age children can use these education dollars in whatever form they chose, home schooling, public school, private schools, internet schools, etc.. No one takes a more personal interest in a child's future than a parent does. Naturally would need to watch a bit so we don't have meth addicts using their home schooled child's education dollars to stay blitzed.
• Public school boards are composed only of people who have children attending that school. How the education dollars are spent is entirely at the discretion of the board. So long as that school is able to attract enough education dollars to remain open it must be meeting parental expectations. If a $120,000 superintendent and a $75,000 associate superintendent makes financial sense to the school board, and this school can attract the education dollars to remain open, who are we to question the wisdom of parents?

A funny thing happens when you give people control of money, or hold them accountable for the use of money. For starters these people tend to become quite stingy with this money, and secondly they demand something of value for their money. If Real Education Reform was implemented is it realistic to expect the bureaucracy of Industrial Education to survive the scrutiny of parents? Just as a well run business will tend to prosper, I would suspect schools meeting or exceeding the expectations of their customers (parents) would have an equally bright future. How nice it would be to make a choice that mattered.

School Districts Should Consolidate or Lose Funding

$500,000. Half a million bucks; could your mid size school district use the extra money? That is the cost for the average 3A school district to staff and maintain a district office.

State legislators (motto: where's a good abortion bill when you need one) have told us that they lack the political will to force small, inefficient school districts to consolidate. This is a lot like the mother who is bankrolling her teenager saying: 'I don't know how to stop her from dressing like a hooker.'. If you control the checkbook, you control everything; grow a spine, suck it up, and buy her a shirt that doesn't allow every neighborhood pervert to count her fat rolls. The state needs to treat these obstinate districts like the tantrum throwing teenagers they are. If you want to have a stand-alone district in a municipality with the same population as a lunch-time Denny's, fine, but you better get a job and pay for it yourself.

The state should immediately dictate minimum size requirements for districts to be eligible for state funding. The simplest method would be through a student/superintendent ratio; that's one even the state superintendents association could understand. By the way, do you really think the aforementioned association will support anything that reduces their dues-paying membership?

This will not affect sports (except for the really small schools who struggle to field an 8 man football team; they can only improve through consolidation) or the ability of small communities to have a school in their town. It will also help to temper some of the meddling local boards are famous for in one-school districts.

This is not a state intrusion on local control. It's the state saying that we cannot finance every locality's provincial narcissism; you can have whatever district your willing to pay for.

To the legislature: one party has almost total control of every corner of state government; cancel your power-lunch, find a backbone and do something that will provide near-term and long-ranging financial benefits to Idaho's education system.

A Good Joke

Three couples were presented at the Pearly Gates: Jewish, Catholic, and Mormon.

Saint Peter greeted the Jewish couple and then shook his head in obvious frustration.
'You can't come in here! All your life you've cared for nothing but money. You even went so far as to change your wife's name to Penny. Get out!'

Up came the Catholic couple.
'You're no better!' he roared, 'You do nothing but drink and when your not drinking, you think about drinking. You even married a gal named Brandy. Be gone!'

At this point the Mormon couple looked at each other and the husband said, 'Well Fanny, I don't think we've got a shot.'

I'm Gonna Win the Lottery!

After much soul-searching and consultations with my banker, I've decided to win the lottery. Even with the punitive tax on winnings, we've determined that it can only help my current state.

Once I win, I plan to live out my life's dream. I'm moving to the Wood River valley and buying the biggest lot I can afford near the folks who have made it their cause de' jour to tie up the state and federal court systems in the Pacific Northwest. They file case after case and motion after motion with the stated goal of driving some of the best agrarians we have from their anscestral homes.

Unfortunately, my family has indicated that they will not be joining me in this quest; it was all hunky-dory until they figured out that my days would most likely be spent laying on lawn chairs in my underwear. Eating Cheetos and drinking mind-numbing amounts of Mountain Dew are a given.

My new motto will be WWCED 'what would Cousin Eddie do?'. I'm gonna be a GREAT neighbor. With my newly discovered fortune, I will embark on a daily mission to file lawsuits and injunctions aimed at preventing any one of these individuals from building so much as a bully-barn on their hyper-developed land. I want the Wood River and Silver Creek to be restored to their original stream beds, and all of the willows and riverbank vegetation removed for the building and landscaping of these monstrosities must be restored to pre-1950 conditions.

Hopefully some of these individuals will get a small taste of the frustration and difficulties that result from their juvenile tactics. I will spend the whole fortune in fulfilling my harassment duties; less an adequate budget for Cheetos, Mountain Dew, and wife-beater undershirts.

CSI Refugee Center: net gain or net drain?

Apparently the Times News forgets to ask questions when it is writing in support of a cherished ideal.

According to the opinion editors, the CSI refugee center is a boon to our local economy. Are you kidding me!? They cite a quote from the director of the center claiming 3 million dollars in grant and other moneys coming to the area as a result of the center, along with providing area employers with a vital source of unskilled entry-level workers. That's exactly what we need in our area; unskilled workers w/no language skills and no true support system (i.e. church and family) outside of the refugee center.

What about the services consumed by these newcomers? The first step the center takes in helping them adjust to their new digs is to run them down to the state Health and Welfare office and sign them up for rent assistance, heating assistance, WIC, and a plethora of other programs put in place to boost up and support our state's working poor. The customers of the refugee center also compete with area residents for the limited spaces in subsidized housing. If you don't think this is a big deal, try talking with families on the waiting list for these facilities.

As far as entry-level workers, we have a great source of hard-working people with a built-in support system. Our area employers are comfortable working with them, have a basic understanding of their culture, and know that if made to feel welcome they provide an excellent pool of employees. These good people from the southern area of our continent also have proven willing to do whatever job is necessary for local agriculture operations. This has proven critical to our area's continued economic stability. There is a sense of latent racism in the refugee center's focus away from areas to the south of us.

Local school districts have a framework and staff trained and able to work with spanish-speaking students. They employ bi-lingual educators, and work very hard to adjust to the realities of a somewhat migratory population. The refugee center's obsession with Eastern Europe and non-latin countries place a staffing burden on districts for which there is no renumeration. I wonder how much of the 3 million they claim to have brought into the area went to reimburse districts for the added expense. I also wonder if the teachers are being paid bonuses for the extra work required to teach students with very unstable home lives and limited support outside of school. These students commonly require much of a teachers time to help them catch up and keep pace with their classmates.

There are many new families here as a result of the center's efforts and we have an obligation to help them progress and succeed. However, I question whether the significant burden they place on our already strained institutions is worth the dubious benefits claimed by those whose employment and financial well-being is directly tied to the center's continued operation.

Balance Idaho's Budget

Before we can solve Idaho's budget woes, we must all come together in acknowledging that stupid people must be allowed to make stupid decisions. I have made several in my life and hope to live long enough to not repeat them. We have gotten away from some of Darwin's best conclusions, and this ignorance has a stranglehold on our financial well-being.

First, legalize drugs and suspend all publicly-funded programs dealing with drug use and enforcement. This will serve two purposes; 1)the drug addicts wanting public assistance will go to a state with more programs (if you doubt this, you know nothing about how information travels in this culture); and 2) we will see an almost immediate relieving of jail crowding issues. We have got to quit criminalizing self-destructive behaviors. We should legalize them and tax them into oblivion. We cannot and should not eliminate the consequences for poor choices.

Second, remove K-12 education from its position atop the sacred-cow pile. State funding should create a scenario where school districts with lower administration costs (i.e. Cassia Co School District) receive a more favorable classification and funding formula. Funding should increase or decrease based on administration cost/student ratios. The fact that Richfield and Detrich or Murtaugh and Hansen are separate districts is asinine at best, and possibly criminal. Teachers should be the last cuts made, but they need to understand that they have a stake in the financial well-being of their respective districts. A bonus program that rewards them for performance and budget savings could be implemented w/out affecting base salaries.

These are just two ideas; later this week we will discuss more.

to Corn or not to Corn

Corn or not to Corn? That is the question.

Recently I was called by a neighbor wondering what kind of corn contracts were being offered for the 2010 growing season. He called me, because he knew that if I didn't know I would just make something up. I promptly called the three people left in So. Idaho still taking my calls. They were from very diverse areas such as Mormonville (Declo), Drytown (Hollister), and Whatview (View). Did I mention that I will attempt to insult everyone so nobody feels special when I shoot their sacred cow.

Anyway, the result of my incredibly scientific and statistically invalid polling is this: $28 +1 is the current (approximate) market for some common bean contracts, and with the cost of production tilting in beans favor, it makes absolutely no sense for anyone with this option to grow corn for less than $28. The complicating factor is that some areas absolutely suck (in a scientific sense) for growing beans. These areas also tend to have lower corn yields. In this instance, accepting less than $25 will firmly establish your identity as a high-class farm whore for your local dairyman. Now don't go getting your knickers in a bunch over the whore classification. We're all whoring for someone; some for Lamb Weston, some for FSA checks. We've all done it and we all live in glass houses; just admit it and get over it.

I support our dairymen, and believe that they have proven to be a critical economic engine in our state. That being said, I have never known one to offer $70 for hay when they can get it for $60. This is a negotiation, and as such, should be pursued w/out emotion. Make your decisions based on long-term relationships and near-term profitability.

Let's Get Started

If you're reading this, you have no life; you're probably married, drive a Ford Tarus and claim 2.3 kids. You sound like my kind of people.

I bet when you watch the news, you think to yourself; 'What a bunch of idiots.', and you know that given half a chance, you could do better. You also go through periods where you don't care what is going on, because the microeconomics of your own life require all your focus and energy. This blog is for you.

The goals of this blog are simple: 1)offer reasoned opinion w/out filters, and political restriction, (I don't care if an idea belongs to one party or the other; if it is stupid, I will say so.); 2)act as a clearing house for information related to the ag community in Idaho.

My hope is that down the road some of my heavier-drinking friends will join me in this forum. Currently that is not the case, and I am left to travel this road alone, much like the great John Brown.

I welcome comments, but have the guts and soundness of character to sign with your name. I and all who post here will.

P.S. I also reserve the right to sound off on education issues, because only allowing educators to speak to ed policy is akin to letting drunks be the sole voice in debate over liquor laws. This relates to agriculture, because property taxes tend to disproportionately affect farm owners.