Health Care for Dummies

In a letter to his wife, the great Lafayette instructed her on the proper way to address critics of the American revolutionary cause: "You will reply politely, 'You are all absolute idiots...' " His pithy advice is amazingly applicable to both sides of the health care debate. I will now propose the only common-sense solution to what has become an assinine process.

First, we must stipulate a few basic assumptions:

1) We in this country will provide a basic level of care to everyone. If we don't do it through a health insurance program, we will do it through unnecessary emergency room visits paid by county indigent funds.

2) We already have a public health care option. It is called medicaid. If you would like to contact me and debate this point, I only ask that you refrain from sniffing glue for the 24 hrs preceding your call.

3) Wealthier people have better stuff than the monetarily-challenged. I can't afford a Ferrari and yet I am still able to fulfill my basic transportation needs. It's ok; I hope to someday become a rich moron who can afford completely unnecessary vehicles. Let's agree to remove our juvenile economic jealousy from this debate.

With these points in mind, I will now lay out the solution.

Expand medicaid! Duh! We already have a bureaucracy in place, it just requires 3 things:

1) Allow people to buy into the coverage based on their taxable income per their 1040.
(i.e. $30,000-40,000 $200/mo/family; $40,001-50,000 $300/mo/family)

2) Establish some reasonable co-pays for office and emergency room visits as a way to curb unnecessary usage of health-care resources. This will also help alleviate our doctor shortage.

3) The federal government's role will be to fund the difference between established premiums and the true cost of coverage.

Pre-existing conditions will be accepted at 25% above basic premium levels. I hate to break it to you, but life is not fair, and you cost more to keep alive. If you show up at the emergency room and have not signed up for coverage, you will be automatically enrolled and assessed a premium based on your previous years tax return. This will ensure coverage for everyone.

Leave private health insurance companies alone. They do offer better coverage and benefits than medicaid, but at a higher cost. Anyone choosing to pay the higher premium should be able to.

See, that wasn't so difficult. Now, if only President 'Economic Genius' and his Merry Band of Idiots would quit trying to bankrupt us, they could sort out the details of what can be a very simple solution to a migraine-inducing problem.