Scoutmaster

I stole the camp journal of my son's scout leader(John).  I thought it would provide insight into the mind of an obvious lunatic.  Who else but a crazy would volunteer to spend the week camping with a bunch of depraved 12 and 13 yr olds hopped up on 'ding dongs' and 'ho-hos'.  

day 1:
"Everything in great!  We are setting up camp and preparing for a week of living and learning in the wonderful wooded landscape of Island Park.... One small set-back; my 'back-up' leader discovered he had forgotten to pack any of his prescription 'liquid courage'.  The boys had to waste their first session of free time consoling him and convincing him not to go home.  I have decided to refer to him as 'Second-fiddle' from now on."  We went down to the lake to pass our swim test so that we could enjoy the water-front activities during the week; the boys did great.  They jumped into the 33 degree water and swam like the champions they are.  Second-fiddle fell in and did the dead man float across and back."

day 2:
"Hygiene is obviously going to be a problem;  I will nip this in the bud and make Second-fiddle the camp hygiene enforcement officer.  Some of the boys have already spent their craft money on overpriced pop and twinkies at the camp trading post (motto:  taking advantage of scouts since 1953).  Uh mm ... I just got downwind of Second-fiddle and now question his ability to be very effective as hygiene officer.  I will have to add this to my list of responsibilities, and continue the search for some way, aside from guarding the food box, in which Second-fiddle can contribute.  I am seeing some small erosion of my authority, but I'm sure it's nothing serious."

day 3:
"The whining is going to drive me nuts.  You would think Second-fiddle had never done dishes.  He tried to make dutch-oven cobbler last night, but only succeeded in serving up a lovely concoction of burnt cake mix and cherry pie filling.  I suspect that his camping credentials have been severely overstated.  The scouts could find the trading post in a blizzard, but lack the necessary motivation to locate a shower.  Boys are getting mouthy; I may be forced to kill one as an example."

day 4:
"My hands shake all the time now.  I find myself constantly wanting to choke the scouts.  Maybe a good long walk would help....  Nope, it didn't help.  I came across Second-fiddle napping under a tree during a time he should have been helping some of the boys earn merit badges.  The boys said he had been doing that all week.  Good news; I don't want to choke the scouts anymore."

day 5:
"I wanna go home." 

Good scout leaders are part therapist and part drill sergeant with just a touch of psychosis.  They are rare.  Thank you John.