What Obama Could Learn From Bad Parents

A neighbor recently gave my two oldest an old Kawasaki Mule.  This utv has some problems, and they were told that it was theirs for the cost of fixing it.  They are thrilled.  Minus a few indian burns and cheap kidney punches, the two pugilists have worked nonstop on what they see as their ticket to freedom from an oppressive home environment.  Unfortunately, things went south on the latest test ride; it died on them in the middle of the horse pasture.  They did what the male of our species always does when faced with unexpected mechanical issues; they lifted the 'hood' and stared at the offending motor with absolutely no clue what to do.  After some intense staring and banging on various parts with an end-wrench failed to revive it, a determination was made to tow it home. 

Mr and Mrs Goodwrench, as I like to call them, came barging into the house demanding that I fulfill my role as father-figure and help them tow the offending vehicle home and fix it.  Sadly, they had come during my sacrosanct afternoon 'rest' period and there was nothing I could do.  Disappointed, they walked outside and did what any good delinquents would;  they 'borrowed' my 4-wheeler and did it themselves.  Some time later, they roared back into the driveway with the 7 yr old driving the tow vehicle and the 13 yr old screaming unheeded instructions from behind the wheel of the dead mule.  If I had gotten up off the couch to see it, I would have been proud.   My inherent laziness had given them an opportunity to develop problem-solving skills and the pride and confidence that comes from overcoming their own challenges.

Watching this got me thinking;  maybe Obama shouldn't try to be such a helpful parent....

President Obama and his band of merry men/women need to allow people to solve some of their own problems.  Government should provide those things that individuals cannot procure themselves: i.e. roads, property rights, military, etc.  Remember, a world without risk is a world without reward.   

'Burn Cop' Coming to a Neighborhood Near You.

This is a call to action!  All who read this post are now deputized into the 'Report Your Local Representative' action committee.  Watch your state representative or senator like a hawk; it is likely they are ignoring the very laws and regulations they expect us to live under.  "What is so terrible?", you ask.  I'll tell you.  In an effort to save North Idaho asthmatics, our ever wise elected officials have made it virtually impossible to get a burn permit to clean up a stubble field here in Southern Idaho (motto:  smoke is a welcome change from our normal airborne aroma).

To get a burn permit now, you must take a field burning safety course, file an application at least 30 days before you want to burn, and wait for the phone call by 11 am on the day you want to burn.  What a bunch of morons!!!  Field burning works best when the weather conditions cooperate to make it safe and manageable; these favorable conditions are impossible to tell 3 days in advance let alone 30. 

The best part:  fines start at 1800 to 2400 dollars, (with no warning) 

The solution:  we must blow the whistle on any state official (elected or otherwise) or their relatives who burn without a permit.  After the first couple of these geniuses pays a fine, maybe they'll think before they take a regionally necessary regulation and apply to the state as a whole. 

I was going to try and be funny, but I am too angry.  I'm dead serious about turning these folks in.  Maybe I will get a new personalized license plate: 'burncop'.  Maybe there'll be some sort of whistleblower payoff too.  Oh, sorry, I let my imagination run wild.  Happy hunting.

The ESA; Killing a Species Near You

A note to all junior high and high school science teachers; 'question everything'. For the last couple of decades, these humble destroyers of clear thinking have been telling our children that the Endangered Species Act saves the lives of those poor little flora and fauna standing on the brink. Recent research and honest studies have shown that the act has just the opposite effect; a result of perverse incentives which punish scientists and wildlife professionals for sucess.

Let me explain. How do the scientists and wildlifers fund their research and pet programs? Grants and more grants. When a species is sucessfully recovered and delisted, grants and program budgets are effectively cut in half; and yet, these same individuals would expect us to believe they are not slaves to the normal self-preservative motives we 'lay' folk are subject to. Why do you think those in this particular community fought wolf de-listing so hard?. A species recovered enough for delisting can be managed by the full-time personel of our state fish and game and no longer requires the throng of academics and free-lancers to count every bowel movement.

There is a simple solution for specieal recovery that doesn't threaten bankruptcy or jail time for any land owner unlucky enough to find an endangered whatnot on his property. This solution quite simply provides an economic reward for any landowner or operator who finds these species and then improves their respective numbers. I know we should do it out of the inherent goodness of our heart, but warm, fuzzy feelings do not feed the children. Imagine how quickly sage grouse would recover if ranchers received a $100 for every one counted during the annual census. In a very short time, the numbers would grow to the point that you would only pay for sage grouse counted from the road. You would, of course, have to restrict ranchers to their home on the night before the count. This would prevent any of the inevitable grouse-rustling as land-owners attempt to boost their numbers.

The ESA has been an abject failure at all endeavours outside of funding university wildlife departments. We owe the wildlife an apology for allowing pot-smoking, clipboard-toting grad students to stalk them for the last three and a half decades.

The afore-mentioned solution would work for any species of plant or animal. Landowners would be scouting their property on hands and knees looking for nests or breeding sites to protect. It is hard for congress to grasp such difficult concepts, especially since sucessfully recovered species do not motive misled urbanites to fund campaigns.